I just happen to have a few of these, they're awesome.
But anyway, I've been thinking a lot and I just don't know what I should be doing with my life. I doubt anyone really watches me since I rarely update my FA, or any of my other art pages, but when I do no one looks at my art since I have kinda abandon my watchers and the few friends I made on these sites.
Sure, I'm online a lot but I don't talk to anyone except a handle of people, and even with them I'm not talking much to anyone now.
I really don't know what to do anymore, I kinda lost my way on life and I just wish I knew what to do.
My "real" life is just as aimless. I don't do anything for myself, I don't talk very much and my one friend is my business partner. Sure, we're making good money building websites but I don't really get that much happiness from having money, since I don't have friends to share my wealth with.
Things are pretty much going well, but things have taken a weird turn.
I was planning on going to DeVry, but things happened and I thought I wasn't going to be able to go, but then after a few phone calls and an interview it seems like I was going to go but at the last minute I decided that I couldn't go because I would not be able to live near or in the college (lack of funds). So I'm going to go back to my previous college and classes for SPC start around August.
[17:54] Yoshy Ryu DCC: http://spritehalolove.ytmnd.com/ [17:56] Arkan: hahah [18:09] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Sup? [18:09] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Did you the pic of my new Sonic Plush doll? [18:09] Arkan: yeah it's kool [18:10] Yoshy Ryu DCC: WITH A JEW CHAIN. [18:10] Arkan: dude [18:10] Arkan: ur such a racist [18:10] Yoshy Ryu DCC: What? [18:10] Yoshy Ryu DCC: A jew can't have a Jew chain? [18:10] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Well [18:10] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Fuck you. [18:10] Arkan: i mean [18:10] Arkan: it's kool you're jewish and all [18:10] Arkan: but the fact [18:10] Arkan: that everything you sya [18:10] Arkan: or draw [18:10] Arkan: or do [18:11] Arkan: has something to do with the fact you're jewish [18:11] Yoshy Ryu DCC: So showing off my Jewish Pride is bad now? [18:11] Arkan: i didn't say that [18:11] Arkan: It just gets old [18:11] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Well then [18:11] Yoshy Ryu DCC: don't watch me anymore. [18:11] Arkan: I like you're stuff dude [18:11] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Fuck you [18:11] Yoshy Ryu DCC: de-watch me [18:11] Arkan: what the fuck [18:12] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I'm gunna block you on AIM too. [18:12] Arkan: take some critisism! [18:12] Arkan: god [18:12] Arkan: you tell me to take critisism [18:12] Arkan: but if some one does it to you [18:12] Arkan: you flip! [18:12] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Well, it's like telling you to stop spriting. [18:12] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You like to sprite, right? [18:12] Arkan: I didn;t tell you to stop being jewish [18:12] Arkan: all i said was [18:12] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Well, you're telling me not to put anything Jewish in my art. [18:12] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I don't do it all the time. [18:12] Arkan: NO I"m NOT [18:13] Arkan: I'm sayiing [18:13] Arkan: that it's like [18:13] Arkan: constant recently [18:13] Arkan: is all i'm saying [18:13] Arkan: it's like [18:13] Arkan: you're showing off that ur jewish or something [18:13] Yoshy Ryu DCC: It's almost Passover [18:13] Arkan: it's not a bad thing [18:13] Arkan: I like the jewis religion [18:13] Arkan: and find it makes more sence than my own [18:13] Arkan: it just kinda gets old with all the jokes [18:13] Arkan: and the symbols [18:14] Arkan: it's cool to be proud and all [18:14] Arkan: but [18:14] Arkan: like [18:14] Yoshy Ryu DCC: This isn't just a religion for me, dude. [18:14] Yoshy Ryu DCC: It's my heritage. [18:14] Arkan: i know [18:14] Arkan: it's kool to be proud [18:14] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You know what the Spanish Inqusition is? [18:14] Arkan: but it's kind of over the top [18:14] Arkan: ughhh [18:14] Arkan: yes [18:14] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I'm also part Spanish because of that. [18:14] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Do you want some Mexican-American jokes then? [18:14] Arkan: yeah well... I personally am not sure what went on [18:15] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Because I'm Hispanic, that's what I'm labeld. [18:15] Arkan: why does every thing have to be about nationality and religian [18:15] Arkan: why can't there be like one good sex inuendo [18:15] Yoshy Ryu DCC: We all like Sex, man. [18:15] Arkan: yeah [18:15] Arkan: It's not that i don't like you're work [18:15] Yoshy Ryu DCC: For awhile I was doing Perverted Jokes. [18:16] Arkan: i'm just saying i prefer perverted to religion [18:16] Arkan: it's aweseom ur proud [18:16] Yoshy Ryu DCC: But I stopped and did other things, because I change my style of joking durring the session [18:16] Yoshy Ryu DCC: sessions? [18:16] Arkan: but it's like stale [18:16] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You weren't watching me since I started out, check out my ISH comics. [18:16] Arkan: i know [18:16] Arkan: I haven;t [18:16] Yoshy Ryu DCC: FOr awhile there was a lot of Perv stuff [18:16] Arkan: I'm just saying [18:16] Yoshy Ryu DCC: But then it changed into some Jewish things. [18:17] Arkan: i seriously don;'t want to get into it with you dude [18:17] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Soon it will turn into some other stuff. [18:17] Arkan: all i'm saying is that i've noticed it's kind of constant [18:17] Yoshy Ryu DCC: It's like noticing how I like to draw my own characters [18:17] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You didn't mention about that. [18:17] Yoshy Ryu DCC: No, you mentioned about my use of Jewish things in my themes. [18:17] Arkan: I'm talking about your material [18:17] Yoshy Ryu DCC: And I usually draw them in nearly all the same poses. [18:18] Yoshy Ryu DCC: No one has ever told me "Hey, try some new poses" [18:18] Yoshy Ryu DCC: No, all you people see is Race, Religion, and Sex. [18:18] Arkan: ok... i seriously don't need this [18:18] Arkan: now that [18:18] Arkan: is a stereotype [18:18] Arkan: you say "you people" [18:18] Arkan: as in none jewish people [18:18] Arkan: like jewish people are better than every one else [18:18] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I ment it as my fans, but whatever rofl. [18:19] Arkan: that's what it comes off ass [18:19] Arkan: as* [18:19] Arkan: don't you get it? [18:19] Yoshy Ryu DCC: nigga, stfu. [18:19] Arkan: ok how's this go ahead and block me and all that, and call me a total ass, but spare me the lecture [18:19] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Depending who I'm talking to, they say "You people", and say "Just because you're Mexican" [18:20] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I face a lot of racial enemies in school, but I got friends of every race as well. [18:20] Arkan: you really aren't getting it do you? [18:20] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I know what your saying anyway dude [18:20] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You want some more spice in my jokes [18:20] Yoshy Ryu DCC: It's like having Cheese pizza all the time [18:20] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Sometimes you wanna have Pepperoni or Mushrrom [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You still like the pizza [18:21] Arkan: EXACTLY [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: but you want some veriety [18:21] Arkan: yesssh [18:21] Arkan: exactly [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: :P [18:21] Arkan: if you understand that [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: You know how many times I've had this talks to a friend / fan? [18:21] Arkan: than what was the point of yelling at me? [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I was bored, duh. [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: brb [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: I gotta go eat some cake [18:21] Yoshy Ryu DCC: My lil cousin's Birthday [18:21] Arkan: that's ironic [18:22] Arkan: it's mine to [18:22] Arkan: eh [18:22] Arkan: happy birthday to him/her ( you didn't say wich) [18:22] Yoshy Ryu DCC: Her, and thanks :3
Well, for starters my beloved girlfriend of two years has left me, but don’t worry it was my fault. She said we were breaking up and so I started to be a bit to friendly with her ex best friend so yeah, when she found out and talked to me about it she decided to take me back only to break up with me over the phone on Sunday, a week before I got brawl. Then on March 10th was the day my grandmother died, so I was kinda sad that day even though I had Brawl. Then the other day my six-year-old brother was sent to the hospital because he had appendicitis, which basically means that something was wrong with his appendix. I didn’t go see him yesterday because I was bummed out, but I plan on visiting him today and I hope he’s doing well. I can’t really complain that much, I mean I was in the hospital a few weeks ago because I had hurt my esophagus and now I’m just taking things a bit easier then what I’m use too and I and kinda not skateboarding because my toe was infected with pus, then it wouldn’t heal right because I was overloading it with antibiotics and now my toe nail came off, doesn’t hurt but it still came out. And now, this girl who I'm starting to get to know is thinking of killing herself and I can't get her to stop thinking about that...
Why? Why can't I ever find peace or happiness? Not in RL, not on the Internet, not ever. Alone, quiet, and forever banished from human contact. Why...? Why can't I find... happiness? WHY?!
I'll tell you why- no one was raised the same way as I have. Every guy thinks I'm a freak because I care for others even if they have wronged me. Girls think I'm gay because I don't hit on them as much as they thought I would. My "friends" think that I'm weird because I don't do crazy things like use drugs or even have sex- It's not my life to waste. They think I'm weird for my religious beliefs. Every day I go to school with my Yamika, every day I wear my Star on my neck- the Star of my people.Back in WW2, they forced us to be marked, they wanted us gone- They denied me my right to wear my Yamika, they didn't let me wear it in school for three years. But now that I've defended myself and by treating them that we would, and could have, gone to court… but now I can wear my Jewish 'hat'. Yes, I'm a guy and yes I don't think about sex all the time, I think about God, and I think about how my people have gone through so much pain and suffering for no good reason. Why? We are still here, no matter how much hate is in this world we will stand together and will live on. Nothing can stop us, not Pharos in Egypt, no Gas Chambers in Germany, no Bombings in the Middle East- WE WILL LIVE.
I just wanna live in happiness, without fear or pain anymore. But there will always be something, or someone, trying to take me down. Sure- I may get upset at others and take my rage on them but that’s why I can’t be happy.
Because I’m human and I can lose my temper and for a brief moment in time lose all the friends I’ve had in a long, long time over a stupid fight. Just because I’m Jewish, doesn’t mean that’s all I am. I’m Hispanic, Spanish-
Not Mexican. I get stereotyped all the time and do I let it get to me?
No, but when I do I lash out and tear people apart that either know or don’t know me. My one weakness is myself, and no matter what I do as long as I am alone I will forever be my own downfall